Geezer's Quest

When aliens from another dimension offer Earth the gift of eternal youth, Buck DiGriz takes his sweet time accepting. On the day he finally does, the aliens turn the planet into a fantasy land where they intend to experience the full extent of human imagination as players in a very much live game.

Buck is one of the few humans who manage to survive this transformation. Armed with many decades of life and RPG experience, he'll do what it takes to go from a cranky nuisance to a full-blown disaster for the invaders.

A quest like this requires trusty allies. The ones Buck finds are a Southern lawyer with a hair trigger and a stripper whose explosive personality is only rivaled by her fire spells. The three of them will have to work together, expand their party, and level up fast. All the while, they'll be hunted by alien agents not looking to have their fun spoiled by the few surviving locals.

An old man, a lawyer, and a stripper walk into an XP bar.
The old man adjusts his collar and goes, "I tell ya, I get no respec."

What to Expect
• Slice-of-adventure - a combination of tense, fast-paced action with slower character moments and party interactions
• Rich RPG system taking its cues from D&D, Might and Magic, Arcanum, and Fallout - hidden trainers, paid skill promotions, and perks galore
• Gradual weak-to-strong progression where every level is a milestone - book 1 has the heroes dealing with local threats like goblins and mad wizards, book 2 has them facing undead armies and colossal beasts, and after that, not even the sky's the limit
• Single first-person PoV and no flashbacks - the story ever moves forward
• Lighthearted tone but real stakes - the situations the heroes find themselves in may often be comedic, but the danger is always real
• (Im)mature characters who know what they're about - no teen angst or drama due to miscommunication
• Babes in varying states of undress but no smut or harems